No doubt about it, having f-bombs and dirty numbers spewing out the mouth is like having your cup of morning coffee. It helps you vent, releases tension and makes you feel like a human being running a lunatic asylum rather than a patient in said lunatic asylum. Well it’s time to ‘Wake up and smell the POTTY MOUTH’.
After a few months of constantly yelling, “OH CRAP!” at my microwave, at my 11 month old climbing on to her table, my foot as it bumped into the cupboard door, and my hand banging into the hot pot (Yes, it seems as though my body parts have a mind of their own), hearing my 11 month old yell, “OH BAP!” to her book was the realization point for me. This potty mouth needed a little soap and disinfecting.
Statistics show that a high percentage of children who are exposed to swearing at home, turn out to be swearers themselves. A classic example is of Little Johnny. He returned home from school confounded that he had gotten an ‘F’ in Arithmetic. As his father tried to comfort him, he questioned his son about why he had failed. In between breathless sobs, Little Johnny explained that his teacher had asked him the answer to 3 x 2. When he responded by saying ‘6’, she proceeded to ask for the answer to 2 x 3. By this time, the father, infuriated, shouted, “What’s the f*cking difference?!” “That’s what I said!” cried Johnny.
Do not be a statistic. Say no to cursing.
If you are like me, making a genuine effort to put a lid on it, the following guidelines might be of some help to you.
1. Like the title suggested, every time you feel the urge to spit out fire, pull on a strand of hair.
2. Find alternative words to those shitty poopy ones that you like to use.
Example: Fart = shooting bunnies, butt burps
Use: Did you just shoot bunnies out of your ass?
3. Just stop using them. Like seriously. Unless you don’t want to.
Ditch your potty mouth today! Leave it behind with last year’s healthy diet and your 2014 New Year’s resolutions!
The Oilfield Mom Survival Guide 