My daughter turned one! And my husband wasn’t there…

On Friday, my sweet baby girl turned one! We were anticipating this day for months and had so much planned. We were going to get her a cake, ice cream, my hubby was going to cook up a storm, and then we’d take her to the park, in her first birthday outfit with a big bunch of pretty helium balloons to take pictures with my DSLR.

Well let me tell you something. As if I didn’t already know, the oilfield doesn’t really allow for ‘planning’. My hubby, who should have been back from the offshore rig on Thursday, still isn’t at home. He missed it… and we missed him. I cried on Thursday evening when I realized we’d be alone but I stayed strong on Friday and tried to make her big day as special as I could. That is what I’m slowly learning… that we must continue living when Daddy is not at home. He’s gone 85% of the times and I’m beginning to accept that life shouldn’t just pass us by sitting and waiting.

Hence, I ordered her a pooh cake, got pooh themed party stuff (although we didn’t have an official party), bought her some ice cream (yup, I’m a bad mama), and bought pizzas for anyone who might drop in to see her. I wanted to stick to as much of our ‘plan’ as possible, so I ordered the big bunch of helium balloons too.

I filled up her crib with balloons as she woke up in the morning and I got some pretty awesome shots!

Later that evening, I dressed her in her first birthday outfit for when her grandparents, our aunts, uncles and cousins visited. We did a mini photo shoot outside, she opened her presents, we sang happy birthday, and pigged out on some cake and ice cream.

I hope the little munchkin had fun and mommy did a good enough job making up for Daddy not being there! I know I have so many more ‘lonely’ birthdays to face with her. Most importantly, this weekend I learned that time does not stand still until my hubby reaches back home. Slowly but surely, I’m learning to live when he’s not here.

P.S. Please excuse the quality of some of the photos. Some were taken with my camera and some were taken with my phone. 🙂

The tough times of an Oilfield Wife and Mom.

The oilfield life is something that you can never get used to. It never gets easier or any less lonely. The following are some of the toughest things that I’ve had to go through as an oilfield wife and mom.

1. Raising my newborn on my own for three entire months. Hubby left when she was 1 month old and returned when she was 4 months old.

2. Feeling lonely. I’m alone and only have my (now) 11 month old to talk to most of the times.

3. Feeling overwhelmed. It can get to ‘super mom status’ pretty often around here. It’s challenging to do it all on my own.

4. Feeling hopeless. Sometimes I feel like there’s no light at the end of this tunnel and I pray every day that it will get better in time.

5. Seeing my hubby walk out the door… Again. It never gets easier and we are never sure when he will be back.

6. Getting only an email a day, or not hearing from him at all. It’s so tough when the location doesn’t have proper internet or cellphones are not allowed.

7. Explaining to my daughter why Dada isn’t there for weeks. I know this will only get more difficult as she gets older and can understand better… Or hopefully it will get easier?

8. Functioning as both mommy and daddy and doing double the parenting.

9. Living everyday not knowing. When he’s at home, we don’t know when he’ll leave and when he’s not at home, we don’t know when he’ll be back. He’s on call 24/7 so one night he’s here, and the next night he can be halfway across the world.

10. Inability to have any set routine or normalcy just because everything revolves around an extremely uncertain schedule.

11. Watching an empty space and pillow as I climb into bed at night.

12. Knowing that he misses out on important, celebration-worthy events like first steps, birthdays and cricket matches. 😉

13. Having to make important decisions on my own… Like turning down a job recently that he didn’t even know I had an interview for or handling serious financial choices without even being able to contact him.

What are some of the toughest situations that you’ve had to deal with on your own? Don’t you just feel like we should just put a cape on our backs already?!

Stay-at-home-mom Monthly Chore Schedule

Hey guys! I was sent a message by a new SAHM asking for tips on making a chore schedule. I basically have the same weekly routine; however, on the second and third weeks of the month, I do heavier cleaning. For example, if I’m cleaning the den, I’ll shift the sofa to vacuum under, remove cushions, remove ornaments and frames to dust and wipe etc. During these two weeks, if I’m cleaning the kitchen, I’ll shift all the appliances, clean the windows, clean the stove, refrigerator, pantry and cupboards.

I also choose to number the days instead of specifically naming them so that I am not restricted to any particular order. I swap days all the time based on my mood or whatever I have going on in my life. Although you can still make switches when you use the actual days of the week, I feel less of an obligation to ensure that I vacuum on a Tuesday instead of a Thursday.

Finally, I do not cook on a Friday nor when my hubby isn’t at home. On Fridays we buy food and when my hubby is away, I starve myself like Victoria Beckham. 🙂
Just kidding. This girl loves to eat. I somehow manage to survive when he’s not a home.

Here is my Stay-at-home-mom monthly chore schedule. Hope it helps!

If you’d like to receive your FREE blank copy printable of this schedule, hit the subscribe button to the right!  —> 

Moms, ditching a potty mouth is simple: be more conscious, think before you speak and pull your hair out instead.

No doubt about it, having f-bombs and dirty numbers spewing out the mouth is like having your cup of morning coffee. It helps you vent, releases tension and makes you feel like a human being running a lunatic asylum rather than a patient in said lunatic asylum. Well it’s time to ‘Wake up and smell the POTTY MOUTH’.

After a few months of constantly yelling, “OH CRAP!” at my microwave, at my 11 month old climbing on to her table, my foot as it bumped into the cupboard door, and my hand banging into the hot pot (Yes, it seems as though my body parts have a mind of their own), hearing my 11 month old yell, “OH BAP!” to her book was the realization point for me. This potty mouth needed a little soap and disinfecting.

Statistics show that a high percentage of children who are exposed to swearing at home, turn out to be swearers themselves. A classic example is of Little Johnny. He returned home from school confounded that he had gotten an ‘F’ in Arithmetic. As his father tried to comfort him, he questioned his son about why he had failed. In between breathless sobs, Little Johnny explained that his teacher had asked him the answer to 3 x 2. When he responded by saying ‘6’, she proceeded to ask for the answer to 2 x 3. By this time, the father, infuriated, shouted, “What’s the f*cking difference?!” “That’s what I said!” cried Johnny.
Do not be a statistic. Say no to cursing.

If you are like me, making a genuine effort to put a lid on it, the following guidelines might be of some help to you.

1. Like the title suggested, every time you feel the urge to spit out fire, pull on a strand of hair.

2. Find alternative words to those shitty poopy ones that you like to use.

Example: Fart = shooting bunnies, butt burps

Use: Did you just shoot bunnies out of your ass?

3. Just stop using them. Like seriously. Unless you don’t want to.

Ditch your potty mouth today! Leave it behind with last year’s healthy diet and your 2014 New Year’s resolutions!

Motherhood Uncut and Uncensored Comic Strip.

Sometimes Most times, motherhood is the toughest, most tiring job in the world. We work 24/7, are offered no sick days, no vacation time and are always needed. I knew exactly what I wanted to write today, but decided that words would not describe my thoughts as vividly as the following comic strip would! The following is my personal depiction of what my job usually feels like. Enjoy!

Liebster Award!

First and foremost, I would like to thank God for this incredible blessing, I would like to thank my hubby, my baby, my readers…

Haha. Just Kidding.

I was incredibly honored when I was nominated for the Liebster Award by Kat from Confessions of the Perfect Mom. It seriously made my day and I was smiling from ear to ear… Like that –> 😀 Do yourself a favor and be sure to drop in and check out her incredibly awesome blog!

Here’s how the Liebster Award works:

1. You thank the presenter who nominated you.
2. You link back to their blog.
3. You answer the 11 questions that you were asked by the aforementioned presenter.
4. You ask 11 of your own questions.
5. You nominate 11 small (200 or less followers) blogs, not including the one who nominated you.

Here are my answers to the 11 questions asked by Kat:

1. What is your favorite color?

             Pink… and I had a baby girl too. Funny how life works, right? Lol.

 2. Are you a girly girl?

       If you call makeup, heels and hair always done a girly girl, then I most definitely am!

3. What is your favorite food?

       The Indian in me will have to say anything curried and all things that are spicy.

4. If you were stranded on an island, what are the 3 things that you would want with you?

       My family, good food and an electronic device with internet. 

5. Do you have any pets?

      Nope.

6. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

       Happily married with contented, obedient children and blessed with an awesome career.

7. Who is your favorite girl celebrity and why?

       This might sound super lame but I love Kourtney K because of her remarkable sense of style!

 8. What about your favorite guy celebrity and why?

      I’d have to say Adam Levine because, ummm, his voice is amazing! J

 9. If you could dress just like anyone (real or fiction) who would it be?

       I mentioned before that I love Kourtney K’s sense of style. I’m big on doing what you love and expressing the real you so I do dress similarly.

10. What was your childhood dream?

         To be a doctor.

11. If you could live anywhere in the world without consequence (you would wake up knowing the language, your family went with you, you had a job/place to live and so on) where would you live?

        I’d choose right here. They do say that happiness is wanting what you already have!

Here are my 11 questions:

1. What made you start to blog?
2. What inspired you to choose your blog title?
3. What is your favorite movie?
4. If you had to choose one song that describes your life, which would you choose and why?
5. What were your New Year resolutions this year, and have you broken any yet?
6. What is your current desktop background?
7. What is the last thing you ate?
8. Name three items that are within your reach, without having to get up or move.
9. Coke or Pepsi?
10. Are you very open, or are you private?
11.  If money was no object, what would you buy right now?

And the well deserving nominees are:

1. Kylie @ http://kyliecrawfordphotographynyc.wordpress.com/
2. Samantha @ http://samanthajalexis.wordpress.com/
3. Jenni @ http://jenniontherun.wordpress.com/
4. Nicole @ http://nicoleleecountryman.wordpress.com/
5. Emily @ http://mommapaloozza.wordpress.com/
6. Jamie @ http://jamiebethphotographyblog.com/
7. Laura and Tia @ http://littlebuttondiaries.com/
8. Katie @ http://katievdschaaf.wordpress.com/
9. Jess @ http://oilfieldarmcandy.com/
10. Chris and Laura @ http://goroundround.wordpress.com/
11. Claire @ http://casualclaire.wordpress.com/

I enjoyed every single one of your blogs!

10 things to help pass time until your hubby is home from a work trip.

The oilfield life is always full of disappointments and no matter how long you’ve been a part of it, it never gets any easier. My hubby, who was supposed to be at home last night, emailed at the very last minute to say that he won’t be home for another few days and although it means my now Martha-approved (see my Martha mission here) home would stay clean a little longer, hearing those dreaded words always gets the better of me. Frustrated and lonely, I try to occupy myself so that time would pass quickly.

Here are 10 things to do that makes time fly until your hubby is back home from a work trip:

1. Enjoy your alone time with your kids. Cherish this opportunity.

2. Let out your feelings. Write them down. Talk to your friends. Cry. Cook. Do what makes YOU feel better.

3. Clean. Time passes and you have a clean home. Win Win.

4. Get out of the house. Do anything that will get you out of sweats or yoga pants.

5. Exercise. It’s a good way to vent and feel better about yourself. Plus, I’m sure your man wouldn’t mind that rocking body of yours when he’s back! *Wink*

6. Watch movies. Bring out the chick flicks and tissues. Get in touch with your inner woman.

7. Drink wine. It will help you sleep better at night!

8. Keep in touch with each other. Emails, skype, telephone calls; it makes the ordeal easier.

9. Take care of yourself. Spend time styling your hair or getting a mani/pedi.

10. Ask for help. Realize that you cannot do it ALL on your own. Ask your parents to assist in any way that they could or don’t turn down their offers to help.

11 things you will never understand until you have a child of your own.

As my baby turns one year old in less than a month, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently. I’ve been reflecting on the past year, on pregnancy and my life before her. Having a baby really makes you appreciate your own mother. The week after delivery was one of my hardest. Postpartum depression hit me like ton of bricks. I was happy to have my baby girl but sad that my mom wasn’t there to hold my hand during this phase of my life. I was grateful; grateful for the sleepless nights that she sang me a song, for the pain that she had went through, for the tears she had cried, for the smiles that I had brought her. I had finally understood a mother’s love for her child.

Here is a list of 11 things you will never understand until you have a child of your own:

1. Pregnancy makes you sick, tired, anxious, emotional, sensitive, is painful and leaves scars but it’s all worth it.
2. The joy of seeing a first smile or first step is indescribable.
3. Your mom spanked you because she loved you and wanted you to become a better person.
4. Your mom did not say ‘no’ because she hated you but because she did not want you to grow to be a spoilt, unappreciative person.
5. Drawings on the refrigerator are worth more than any version of the Mona Lisa.
6. Your mom was exhausted when you asked her to make you a sandwich at ten o’clock that one night. She was tired from giving you baths, making your breakfast, lunch and dinner, organizing your books for school, washing your clothes, cleaning your room, playing with you and checking your homework, but she still made you the sandwich without any hesitation.
7. Your parents were worried when you were out late because they love you, not because they are clingy, psycho and annoying.
8. You feel like your children’s successes are what defines your own success.
9. Your parents gave up part of their life so that you could have a better one.
10. Giving attitude may be ‘just being a teenager’ to you but it’s hurtful to your mom.
11. A mother’s love for her child is boundless.

What are you thankful to your mom for?

Dedicated to my mom, who succumbed to cancer in February 2004. To you, I’m ever thankful.

Be a mom AND have the cleanest home in 2014!

One of my goals this year is to become more organized. It is my greatest wish to be all ‘Martha Stewart-ish’ about my cleaning, cooking, crafting and raising my baby girl. Sometimes, it’s not as easy as it looks.

Here is what my perfect ‘Martha Stewart’ day would be like:

 

Time	Martha Stewart Schedule	My real schedule
7:00 – 8:00	Have coffee. Read paper. Shower.	Asleep.
8:00 – 9:00	Bathe baby. Make beds. Do dishes. Light cleaning.	Try to wake up. Feed baby. Playtime.
9:00 – 10:00	Preparations for cooking.	Bathe baby. Make beds.
10:00 – 11:00	Settle baby for nap. Heavy cleaning. Cook.	Do dishes. Light cleaning.
11:00 – 12:00	Cook.	Settle baby for nap. Preparations for cooking. Cook.
12:00 – 1:00	Have lunch. Relax.	Cook. Clean.
1:00 – 2:00	Playtime. Learning time.	Playtime. Learning time.
2:00 – 3:00	Playtime. Learning time.	Playtime. Learning time.
3:00 – 4:00	Make snack or appetizer.	Playtime. Learning time.
4:00 – 5:00	Settle baby for nap. Blog.	Playtime. Learning time.
5:00 – 6:00	Shower. Spend family time. Have dinner.	Family time. Have dinner.
6:00 – 7:00	Spend family time.	Family time.
7:00 – 8:00	Put baby to sleep. Blog/Craft.	Family time.
8:00 – 9:00	Hubby time.	Put baby to sleep.
9:00 – 10:00	Sleep.	Hubby time.
10:00 – 11:00	Sleep.	Blog.
11:00 – 12:00	Sleep.	Relax.

 

When I wrote out my actual schedule, I was pretty embarrassed to post it publicly. I couldn’t be any further from what I actually envision and want myself to be. I am extremely happy that I am blessed to spend so much quality time with my daughter but I would also like to be a well-dressed wife with a spotless home. You know? The ones where you open the front door and choirs of angels start singing amidst the scent of perfumed lilies in fresh, Caribbean breeze? I’d like to not have clothes strewn all over our spare room because I couldn’t find the time to fold the laundry. I’d like to not mix a ‘going out’ shirt with our ‘home clothes’ pile, and I’d like to have frosted, sugar cookies straight out the oven every single evening. Is there a cleaning genie for sale out there?

 

The more I think about it, the more I see why my home is real and the more I remember that I am real. I try my best to pack away as much as my daughter allows me to. I rush to and from doing loads of laundry so that my daughter doesn’t climb on the couch or fall off whilst I am gone for those few seconds. I do everything in two minute increments as she cries for me to come back, pick her up, or give her some love. And then I remember that she’s only small once.

I know that one should not have unattainable goals but follow my story over the next few weeks as I try to become less ‘lackadaisical’ and more ‘Martha Stewart’. Subscribe to see how close to perfection I actually get. Be sure to stay tuned for my tips and tricks, free organization printables and more!

10 reasons why I am doing okay at this mommy thing and you are not.

Have you ever bust your ass off all day, sit down with a glass of wine, only to hear that you’re a piece of shit kind of mother?

If people are trying to define how good a job you’re doing, then this post is for you.

Here are 10 reasons why I’m doing okay at this mommy thing and you are not:

1. You drink a glass of wine to rewind and relax after you put your kids to bed. I drink a glass of wine at the start of the day to help me deal with the day’s chaos.
2. You spend all day disciplining and molding little people. I put their happiness first. Whatever they want, they get. No questions asked.
3. You spend an extra hour of your ‘solo grocery shopping time’ having a cup of coffee by yourself. I just use the babysitter to get more sleep. Too much wine in the morning is sometimes not the best idea. (NOTE TO SELF: Add babysitter on speed dial.)
4. You have learnt to exploit the babysitter out of the TV. I abuse the shit out of the television AND the computer.
5. You give your baby formula. Who are you kidding?! Studies show that you want your child dead. I breast feed in the middle of a pasture filled with butterflies and unicorn poop. (I cross my fingers and pray to God that the wine does not pass freely into the milk. Anything is better than poison formula.)
6. You feed your baby rice cereal at four months old. I stick that spoon into their mouth on our way home from the hospital.
7. You don’t always know if you’re doing the right thing but you follow your maternal instincts. My child came with a manual. It’s called Google.
8. You choose to ‘protect’ your child by vaccinating. I’ve done my research and if you had done yours too, you’d see that you are just killing your child with more poisonous vaccines.
9. You judge other mothers and their childrearing decisions. I judge you and your childrearing decisions.
10.  You parent in your own ‘right’ way. I parent in my own ‘perfect’ way.

No mother parents the same. There is no perfect way to be a mother. Every situation is matchless. Every child is different. Every mother has different skills and capabilities. If your kids are fed, clean, clothed and truly loved by you, and if despite what others say, you know are doing your best, then you are doing okay at this mom thing too.

DISCLAIMER: This blog post does not in any way reflect how I actually discipline or parent my child.